Pie Club :: Mince Pie Reviews and much, much less...

Pie Club...Reader's Pies

This is your opportunity to post images of your own to embellish the festive feel of Pie Club.

Feel free to send shots of home made treats or any unusual pie-related happenings.

Maybe you have found the face of Jesus in a Tesco Deep Filled, or you have recreated a memorable scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark using only Aldi's offerings.

E-mail your contributions to "PC at the Pie Club "<pc at pieclub dot org dot uk>.

Pie Jedis amongst you may have felt a disturbance in the crust of late, as if a thousand bakers cried out in horror and then fell silent.

It is almost certainly my development of a new, powerful darkness atop the mincemeat universe. Ladies and gents, I give you The Ganache Topped Mince Pie...

Yes, I am worried for the future of normal pies.

Anyone who’s attempted to ice a swastika onto a pie top while the wife and kids are at the park (or carve one into a forehead) will know the difficulty rating on this snap is quite high. Excuses aside, please enjoy Tarantino’s war effort conjured in confectionary. Those ‘Inglourious Bakewells’ have vented their fury on an unfortunate Sainsbury’s Red Box patrol, giving the ‘Bear Chew’ more Nazi batting practise.

Looks like we have a bit of a sticky situation here

All good things come to those who wait. Annie Ko, of annieko.com, has provided us with our very first 'actual' reader's pies. Full credit Annie! I could dwell on that tray shot all day long...

Following a contest to produce the most Christmassy result from the existing picture, please see below Pie Club’s “Merry Christmas to all Readers!”.

Should an Alien land on Earth and require an explanation of intangible concepts such as love or pity – I think the image below will suffice for ‘excitement’. A crowded Pie-Off arena waits in near silence as the two combatants size each other up. Unbelievably, one contestant has the audacity to poke a cheeky tongue at his fruity foe. Will he be made to pay for his insolence?

What new devilry is this?

Who would have thought that those pint sized, hairy footed halflings would finally pull through and put us all out of our misery? In the end the massed armies of Sauron were no match for Ferodo and the stupid fat hobbit.

"One Pie to rule them all!".

Anyone given the task of terrifying the relatives after Christmas dinner will be familiar with this kind of unnerving fruit splatter scenario. I apologise for any returning childhood jitters summoned by my tribute to Ridley Scott’s 1979 masterpiece. Literally a breakthrough moment for Alien, and a terrible waste of John Hurt’s after dinner speech, I give you “In pastry, no-one can hear you scream…”.

Our future history tells us that apes will rule over man (and neglect New York landmarks), but how much of a leap is it to imagine Kiwi Fruit becoming the eventual overlords of planet Earth? In this chilling incarnation, our captured mincemeat hero booms, "Get your stinking seeds off me you damn dirty fruit!".
A nightmare we all share, no doubt.

Look at these little beauties! Taken in the first few moments after escaping the oven, my wife’s best ever twelve. Phew. You’ve no idea how much of a euphemistic minefield I’ve had to negotiate for this comment.

The final slice of original trilogy sees a desperate Luke Piewalker dangling from a Wampa’s icy larder shelf. I’m particularly happy with the wintry atmosphere engendered by this Hoth/Christmas cross-over. At last, the circle is complete.

Continuing my earlier theme, I’ve cobbled together another Star Wars scene. Jabba the Squash watches on as Leia frees Han from his ginger beer tomb. Yes, I know it’s a bit basic. Lucas probably started with meatballs and breadsticks. Anyway, I’ve given this artwork the title "Ho, ho, ho".

Just to get the ball rolling, I’ve thrown together this iconic New Hope image of good versus evil. All the emotions of the original are evoked by this snapshot of the early exchanges between ‘Old Ben’ and his biggest clanger drop. You can almost hear a strained “Nooooooooo!”, as Tesco Finest prepares to become more powerful than M&S Luxury can ever imagine. PC.

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Pie Club...Reader's Pies